General Parenting Tips
Promote communication and child disclosure.
Studies show that parental monitoring of youth activities promotes positive youth behaviors and discourages negative ones like delinquency, smoking and drug use. However, the key behind parents knowing what children do, is child disclosure or willing sharing of their activities to parents, instead of parent tracking or control (Stattin and Kerr, 2000). In other words, one of the best ways to support youth is by fostering an environment in which children feel safe to talk about their daily lives, problems, aspirations and friends. By staying informed on youth school performance, whereabouts, activities and peers, parents will also have more tools to address issues as they arise.
Consider adopting an authoritative parenting style.
Although there are many differences between countries and cultures in what is deemed a successful or appropriate parenting style, many scientific studies identify which parenting styles are most beneficial for children. The most beneficial parenting style is authoritative which avoids severe punishment and instead focuses on developing child agency by conveying empathy and respect of the child while promoting child negotiation and decision-making (Baumrind, 2012). “Authoritative parents are warm and involved, but firm and consistent in establishing and enforcing guidelines, limits, and developmentally appropriate expectations” (Steinberg, 2001, pg.7). This style is different from authoritarian parenting which is domineering, based on arbitrary decision-making and coercive. Results show that children reared under an authoritative parenting style “achieve more in school, report less depression and anxiety, score higher on measures of self-reliance and self-esteem, and are less likely to engage in antisocial behavior, including delinquency and drug use” (Steinberg, 2001, pg.8).
Pay attention to child needs.
Some youth are easily stressed out, may have disabilities, illnesses or mental disorders. Make sure you listen to your child and provide support for youth to handle these situations successfully.
Make children feel valued, supported and special. A good way to do this is by getting to know your child.
Shirley Torstrick’s list of questions for knowing your child (in Pollock and Van Reken, 2001:192)
http://books.google.com/books?id=eYK8vsA8K8MC&pg=PA174&lpg=PA174&dq=torstrick+shirley+questions&source=bl&ots=tkA6qu-P2G&sig=ZGemTRPxTeLO2RpxgKmp1pOnPqg&hl=en&sa=X&ei=NgRcU53iLe-vsQTvvoHgAw&ved=0CCgQ6AEwAA#v=onepage&q=torstrick%20shirley%20questions&f=false
References
Baumrind, Diana. (2012). Differentiating between Confrontive and Coercive Kinds of Parental Power-Assertive Disciplinary Practices. Human Development, 55:35-51. http://www.karger.com/Article/Abstract/337962
Pollock, David C. and Van Reken, Ruth E. (2001). Third Culture Kids: Growing Up Among Worlds. Finland: Nicholas Brealey. http://nicholasbrealey.com/london/third-culture-kids.html
Stattin, H., and Kerr, M. (2000). Parental monitoring: A reinterpretation. Child Development, 71:1072-1085. http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/11016567
Steinberg, L. (2001). We know some things: Parent-adolescent relationships in retrospect and prospect. Journal of Research on Adolescence, 11:1-19. http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/1532-7795.00001/pdf
Studies show that parental monitoring of youth activities promotes positive youth behaviors and discourages negative ones like delinquency, smoking and drug use. However, the key behind parents knowing what children do, is child disclosure or willing sharing of their activities to parents, instead of parent tracking or control (Stattin and Kerr, 2000). In other words, one of the best ways to support youth is by fostering an environment in which children feel safe to talk about their daily lives, problems, aspirations and friends. By staying informed on youth school performance, whereabouts, activities and peers, parents will also have more tools to address issues as they arise.
Consider adopting an authoritative parenting style.
Although there are many differences between countries and cultures in what is deemed a successful or appropriate parenting style, many scientific studies identify which parenting styles are most beneficial for children. The most beneficial parenting style is authoritative which avoids severe punishment and instead focuses on developing child agency by conveying empathy and respect of the child while promoting child negotiation and decision-making (Baumrind, 2012). “Authoritative parents are warm and involved, but firm and consistent in establishing and enforcing guidelines, limits, and developmentally appropriate expectations” (Steinberg, 2001, pg.7). This style is different from authoritarian parenting which is domineering, based on arbitrary decision-making and coercive. Results show that children reared under an authoritative parenting style “achieve more in school, report less depression and anxiety, score higher on measures of self-reliance and self-esteem, and are less likely to engage in antisocial behavior, including delinquency and drug use” (Steinberg, 2001, pg.8).
Pay attention to child needs.
Some youth are easily stressed out, may have disabilities, illnesses or mental disorders. Make sure you listen to your child and provide support for youth to handle these situations successfully.
Make children feel valued, supported and special. A good way to do this is by getting to know your child.
Shirley Torstrick’s list of questions for knowing your child (in Pollock and Van Reken, 2001:192)
http://books.google.com/books?id=eYK8vsA8K8MC&pg=PA174&lpg=PA174&dq=torstrick+shirley+questions&source=bl&ots=tkA6qu-P2G&sig=ZGemTRPxTeLO2RpxgKmp1pOnPqg&hl=en&sa=X&ei=NgRcU53iLe-vsQTvvoHgAw&ved=0CCgQ6AEwAA#v=onepage&q=torstrick%20shirley%20questions&f=false
References
Baumrind, Diana. (2012). Differentiating between Confrontive and Coercive Kinds of Parental Power-Assertive Disciplinary Practices. Human Development, 55:35-51. http://www.karger.com/Article/Abstract/337962
Pollock, David C. and Van Reken, Ruth E. (2001). Third Culture Kids: Growing Up Among Worlds. Finland: Nicholas Brealey. http://nicholasbrealey.com/london/third-culture-kids.html
Stattin, H., and Kerr, M. (2000). Parental monitoring: A reinterpretation. Child Development, 71:1072-1085. http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/11016567
Steinberg, L. (2001). We know some things: Parent-adolescent relationships in retrospect and prospect. Journal of Research on Adolescence, 11:1-19. http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/1532-7795.00001/pdf